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I Cannot be Available to Everyone, Every Minute of Every Day, and it’s OK 

06.29.2016 by Emelda De Coteau // 8 Comments

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Emelda De Coteau
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Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
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Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017

Photo Credit: Kalen Emsley
People expect our constant availability – phone, text, social media and email. Technology has birthed a culture grounded in a constant stream of endless obligatory chatter.

What happens when you seek quiet instead of IG, FB and Twitter feeds? Or if you decide you’re not interested in following the “behind- the-scenes look” at someone else’s life on Snapchat. You simply want to stand in your present moment, phone on the charger, or off all together for a while. Can we just be, y’all? Geez!

Apparently, this whole revolutionary non-available concept is irritating to some people. Last week I found myself in a back-and-forth exchange via Facebook which started because a new friend called me, and I didn’t answer the phone.

My momentary inaccessibility became interrupted as rude and callous, instead of an opportunity for them to pause and see it from another angle – maybe, just maybe, I was unavailable for numerous reasons. Nai and I were actually playing together in the backyard, bathing our cocoa brown skin in the emerging summer sunlight, lying in newly planted grass, our laughter overflowing, making a mundane weekday joyful.

I’m not a fan of distracted-parenting so I rarely engage in long convos with friends when homeschooling, reading or just hanging with our little Nai. Our moments together are precious.

The whole incident is causing me to reflect quite a bit on this rapid  “communication” evolution, and the impact it’s having on our personalities and ways of being with one another. Impatience is the new normal. And for far too many of us, instant gratification also means instant access to people. If we cannot have it,  we pout like toddlers insisting on their favorite snacks instead of dinner.

The concept of boundaries is somehow foreign to us, especially younger generations who have never known a world where you do not have multiple ways of reaching someone, any time of the day or night.

I am dating myself here, y’all, but I actually remember, as a kid, when very few people carried cell phones. If you weren’t home, you weren’t available. Folks connected with each other when it worked for both of them. You didn’t feel pressure to talk, and reply to incessant text messages and social media updates.

The act of cultivating genuine friendships is quickly being replaced with a vapid practice of familiarizing ourselves with people’s lives (an edited version of course) via social media, calling them friends, and then basing their value upon how often they comment, like or share our own thoughts. This isn’t friendship, it’s forced interaction and brazen selfishness.

I don’t know about you, but I am done with feeling bound by other people’s expectations of me, their pseudo ideas of friendship. If I don’t have another IG heart, or like on a post, I will survive. My soul is yearning for so much more these days, you know authentic and lasting connections based on understanding and love, not the thorny entanglement of ego. Our time is far too fleeting and miraculous to be squandered.

Talk to Me: 

Do you feel guilty if you’re not able to connect with someone right away? Why do you think so? How can you move beyond those feelings? 

Categories // Inspiration & Style Tags // approcal seeking, are we really connecting, authentic, authentic love, boundaries, constant communication, cultivating friendship, feeling guilty, feelings, friendship, Homeschooling, Homeschooling Mama, impact of technology, kindness, miracle, small acts with big impacts, social media fatigue, technology overload, time is precious, unplug

Be Gentle & Loving With Yourself Everyday

02.20.2016 by Emelda De Coteau // 3 Comments

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Emelda De Coteau
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Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
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Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017
Photo Credit: Emelda De Coteau

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Becoming an adult often means we swallow pieces of ourselves, hide vulnerabilities under the guise of responsibilities. Frequent crying  is labeled juvenile, a personal weakness… Yet if ever there were a period to be gentle with ourselves, it is now, when the energy in the world tugs at us daily, assaulting our psyches.

As women and Moms we are relentless with self criticism. I wake up with a mile long to-do-list and silently berate myself when things fall by the way side. Often I struggle to even feel worthy of rest.

There is so much to do, I tell myself – homeschooling, blogging, planning meals and errands for the week. How can I possibly lay down, or go sit in a cafe  and read (one of my favorite past times)? And yet, each time I surrender to rest or doing something only for me, I feel renewed.

Why is it so tough for us to show compassion towards ourselves?  It’s a habit, y’all, and like everything which becomes part of our daily lives, we have to do it over and over again.

When you and I feel overwhelmed the next time, the weight of responsibilities suffocating us, we have to first begin to breathe. It instantly centers you, becoming your sole focus during that moment.

The hubby, Kes, says that to me whenever I become frantic. Take a deep breath, baby.  And then, because he’s perfect for me, he follows up with something hilarious: “I’m gonna start calling you ‘Mel & The Frantics’ cause you always in a panic.” Now I am laughing so hard I almost snort. If y’all could see his face, eyes wide with amusement, you would bowl over with laughter, too.

Audrey Hepburn, whom I admire for her kindness, humanitarian work, and gracious beauty said: “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”

All of us need those moments when joy erridicates worry. Sometimes, we have to look in the mirror and crack up at our own mess!

Releasing judgement, anxiety, and silencing all those “should voices” in our minds is another essential part of embracing gentleness. American culture is very much rooted in a kind of personal gratification based on what you do (work hard and then play). Yet there are days when we must relax without having done everything.

This is a tough on for me, y’all. I am goal / project / achievement-oriented-person. But the longer I foster self care and love in my spirit, the more I come to increased clarity, understanding gentleness means releasing fear, the fear of not measuring up.

You and I are enough. Our strength and beauty is not inextricably tied to productivity. We are more than our accomplishments. Gentleness, compassion, honesty and humor are the way forward, illuminating our day-to-day paths. Each one of us deserves a life overflowing with lasting gentleness and joy.

 

Are you gentle with yourself? If so, in what ways? If not, how can you start? 

Categories // awakening, awareness, empowement, faith, Faith & Social Justice, Inspiration, Inspiration & Style, life, live and love in color, love, Motherhood & Family, reflection, self love, women Tags // adulthood, Audrey Hepburn's humanitarian work, be gentle and loving with yourself everyday, be gentle with yourself, compassion, daily lives, daily practices, Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about fear, embrace joy, gracious, Homeschooling Mama, humanitarian work, kindness, Kurt Vonnegut, laughter, laughter is good for the soul, life of joy, life of meaning, life of purpose, life on purpose, loving, mindfulness, productivity, reflection, release fear, responsibility, self care, self love, strength

3 Easy Toddler Activities For Indoor Play

02.01.2016 by Emelda De Coteau // Leave a Comment

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Emelda De Coteau
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Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
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Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017
Our Nai having fun at Port Discovery Children’s Museum Photo Credit: Emelda De Coteau

Any Mama with a toddler knows our kiddos need variety! And being stuck in the house during a major blizzard – bye Jonas – doesn’t help. 

But if we’ve learned anything over this past week in my house, it’s creative play to the rescue. 


Here are a few of our favorite snow day / cold weather activities:


Finger Painting  & Water Colors – 
Most kids love to make stuff, and get their hands dirty, right? Break out the finger paints and water colors. 

You can use this activity to teach your kiddo how to identify a variety of colors, complete a project from start to finish, and work on a team! 

Nai painting Photo Credit: Emelda De Coteau

Sand Play – Think warm thoughts, right?  

Yes. I say this to myself a lot these days (as this is not my fav. season). Nothing brings summer within reach faster than playing with sand. 

A few weeks ago we headed up to Lakeshore Learning and picked up an awesome sensory sand play set for Nai. This moldable soft sand comes with mini castles and tools so kids can build their own village. 

This is such a fun and low-key way to work on those fine motor skills. You can also buy sand in numerous colors at Lakeshore so this hands-on-activity never becomes old! 

Lakeshore Mold & Play Sensory Sand Set Photo Credit: Emelda De Coteau

Water Play – Grab a small bucket, fill it with water, and let your little one choose which toys should go for a swim! 

You can even add shaving cream in the mix for more of a sensory experience; its another cool way to let kids experiment with touching various textures.  

Nai enjoying water play Photo Credit: Emelda De Coteau

I hope you all are enjoying your little ones this winter! 

What fun activities do you all do when it’s to cold to head out? 

Categories // children, creative, Motherhood & Family, painting, parenting Tags // finger painting, Homeschooling, Homeschooling Mama, indoor play, interactive play, Jonas, kiddos, Lakeshore Learning, play, sand play set, sensory play, toddler, toddlers, water colors, water fun, winter fun for pre-schoolers

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Emelda De Coteau
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Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017

Ever since elementary school, I have stood up against any perceived injustice. Not on a picket line, more subtly I suppose, as my early protesting involved befriending kids others made fun of or ignored. On the weekends, Dad told my brother and I stories about his life, the years he spent in Hounduras before coming… [Continue Reading]

  • About
  • Latest Posts
Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017

I do not know about you all, but during the busyness of life, I forget a lot; the chaotic nature of days with a little one moves some chores further down the list. Let’s take watering plants – easily thrown into the nonessential pile. It’s why I can count the number we have sprinkled haphazardly… [Continue Reading]

  • About
  • Latest Posts
Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017

Americans like our leaders sanitized, captured in Pinterest quotes and witty tweets. We teach kids to swallow comfortable myths about historical figures, instead of thinking outside the box. But now in the age of Google, you and I can seek different narratives, rediscovering these men and women in the fullness of their humanity, not reduced… [Continue Reading]

  • About
  • Latest Posts
Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Emelda De Coteau

Mother, wife, sister, friend, writer / blogger / communications consultant, budding photographer... These are just a few of the many hats I juggle each day. I believe creativity is oxygen for the soul. I created Live In Color blog to celebrate the beauty in every moment, from faith to inspiration and motherhood.Follow the inspiration on Instagram: @liveincolorblog



Emelda De Coteau
Follow Me:

Latest posts by Emelda De Coteau (see all)

  • Why God’s Grace Changes Everything  - June 23, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer Christina of The Whole Cook - April 28, 2017
  • Living by Faith (Blog Series): Writer and Podcaster Tiffany T. Huff - April 21, 2017

I fight sadness with busyness. There, I admitted it to you and myself. Somehow hurt seems to evaporate for me, even if only momentarily, under a mountain of to-do lists and phone alerts, that is until the pain catches up to me. And it always does… No one talks about rest. Everyone I know is… [Continue Reading]

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